Twins-O-Rama

This is my online journal for blathering about life as a mother of boy/girl twins.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Sexless Marriage

There I said it. I am in a sexless marriage and have been for over 2 years!!!!!!!!!!!! Considering we have only been married 3 years this is a serious problem. I will never forget him telling me a couple months after the babies were born as I cried because he would not be intimate with me, "well it's hard for me because you used to be pretty flawless." Had I not been so sleep deprived and hormonal I would have packed his shit and never looked back. Since then I have begged, reasoned, demanded and simply cried to him about it. The result? We have maybe had sex 5 times. Additionally, he threatens divorce every few months. So I finally had it and kicked him out a couple weeks ago-demanding yet again that we go to counseling. In the very first session he tells the counselor he tried to break up with me numerous times before we were married!!!!!!!!!! Gee, where was I when he was supposedly doing this? As if that weren't bad enough, he says the spark is gone (for him) and agrees we are like roommates. I am devastated-nor do i feel like I need to wait one more minute for him to change. Haven't I waited long enough?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Denial

So how many more signs do I need to realize this man I call my husband is resentful and angry with me for "making" him get married and have kids? Today he told me he realizes he wants to be the "man he was". Single? Without wife/child responsibilities? I asked for an example and he cited GOING TO THE GYM. Oh yes he did. Gee, that's funny-we have a membership across the street with childcare AND I usually tell him to go ahead if he wants to after work while I continue to watch the kids. According to this man I am also not letting him get ready for work in the morning because he gets up with the kids and gives them breakfast. HE agreed to this and then changed his mind, so I started doing it but according to him I NEVER do this. Now I'm not sure when lying became fair play but it certainly doesn't bode well for a man who says he wants to work on things and feels that we should not "sweat the small stuff".